I am nearing the end of my 42nd trip around the sun. I’m so old that the clothes we wore in high school and college are pretty much what kids are wearing now. I mean, we’re talking about Trump and the Clintons, too — are we sure it’s not the 90’s?
Mark Twain said:
There is no such thing as a new idea. It is impossible. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope. We give them a turn and they make new and curious combinations. We keep on turning and making new combinations indefinitely; but they are the same old pieces of colored glass that have been in use through all the ages.
It’s getting really hard to surprise me the older I get because I feel like I’ve seen it all before, in one version or another. I think that’s what Mark Twain meant. Maybe everything has been thought of and we just need to arrange it differently.
It may just be that there’s no shortage of stupidity and we never learn our lessons. Take, for example, this scary clown business. How convenient that the rumor starts just weeks before Halloween, when kids are out past their bedtimes and either hopped up on sugar or overwhelmed by all the commotion. There is no way this hoax is going to be put to rest before Halloween. If anything, I expect to hear more about it.
You know why? Because THIS ALREADY HAPPENED.
Back in 1985 I was in 5th grade — the same age my oldest is now — and in the weeks leading up to Halloween, the rumors and warnings were swirling about “Devil Worshippers” hiding in the woods and taking children. We actually wondered if it was safe to go out to trick or treat that year. We went anyway. Guess how many kids were taken by the “Devil Worshippers” in 1985? ZERO.
And guess what I dressed as for Halloween in 1985? A CLOWN. Which obviously means nothing, it’s just a funny coincidence.
But, let me warn you, if I see ANYONE dressed as a clown for Halloween this year, I am going to steer clear. You know why? CLOWNS ARE CREEPY. Always have been, always will be. Which is why this fad has legs. Also everyone in the country is scared the country is going down the crapper and once you are scared about one thing, it’s a hell of a lot easier to get scared about something else.
So maybe we all just need to chill. Maybe it’s all going to be fine.
Unless, of course, Trump is elected. That would be truly scary.