I won’t be attending the Pumpkin Spice party

Fall is a lovely season. Not so much in Houston where fall is exactly like summer and the leaves don’t really change color, but in theory fall is lovely.

Fall scarves, fall boots, fall colors, fall made-up flavors that everyone obsesses about when Starbucks unleashes releases it. Lovely.

Yep. I’m looking at you, Pumpkin Spice Latte.

Pumpkin pie is my favorite pie. Rhubarb pie is also my favorite, but not pertinent to this conversation. Key Lime pie is also super, but I digress… So this one time when I baked, I made muffins that combine canned pumpkin pie filling and a box of spice cake mix and, boy howdy, those were good. I even brought them to a pot luck thing — that’s how good they were. Cakey and sweet, rich enough to stick to your teeth… Delish.

But I would not put one of those muffins in my coffee. My coffee should taste like coffee not muffins. I would never drink pumpkin juice. Why would I want to drink pumpkin anything? Pumpkin is a squash. Do you normally put squash in your drinks?

“Oh hey, could I have a slice of yellow squash in my water? I love the summery flavor it gives the water.”

“This morning I had the BEST acorn squash juice at brunch. It was so good I even Instagrammed it.”

“Well, we were carving the pumpkin and I hated to waste the inside, so I just put it in a cup and grabbed a straw. And then I felt like fall had really arrived.”

Have you ever carved a pumpkin? Have you ever smelled a pumpkin being carved? Have you ever smelled dead feet? Because that’s what the inside of a pumpkin smells like.

Why would you ruin your coffee by putting dead feet in it?!

Put it in a pie. Put it in a muffin. Even bread will do. But for Pete’s sake, do not put pumpkin in my coffee.

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No pumpkins were harmed in the making of this coffee.

Comments

  1. If you put it in your coffee, though, you can almost legitimately claim that it’s good for you because it has vegetables in it! 😉