distractions, heat, hey look a squirrel, houston, humidity, open letters, randomness, shenanigans, silliness, suburbs

An Open Letter to Mosquitoes

Dear Mosquitoes:

I am writing to inform you I am extremely disappointed in your recent behavior.

Despite our lifelong feud, I have made every effort to make our coexistence easier. I have tried to ignore you hoping you would, in turn, ignore me. Not only did that not work, but it’s resulted in some of you biting me in several places, including some places it is not proper to write about. This weekend two of you bit me in the nearly the same spot on my arm, resulting in two adjacent swollen, itchy bumps. I regret to inform you that in the process of the second bite, blood was shed, and one of your mosquito sisters paid the ultimate price.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

Fall has officially arrived and, quite frankly, I see no reason for you to hang around my neighborhood any longer. I understand the prolonged heat and humidity in the Houston area may make this seem like an ideal place to call home, but you are not wanted here.

I’d like you to leave. I will not hesitate to swat and/or squish any of you that come in contact with me or my children. At this point I feel your collective behaviors are acts of terrorism on my skin and the skin of my friends and family. At times your presence makes it difficult for my family and I to even leave our house, and for what?! So you can suck a little more life out of us and die in the process?

Move on, Mosquitoes. Good day. I SAID GOOD DAY.

Best —



1 thought on “An Open Letter to Mosquitoes

Comments are closed.