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Grocery Shopping Tips. But Not Really.

Grocery shopping is the worst part of being a grown up. It doesn’t help that I am particularly bad at meal planning. I do well at neither the meal nor the planning portion of the activity. To say grocery shopping is not my favorite thing is an understatement of comic proportions.

When we lived in California we had options for grocery delivery. Maybe it was only one store, possibly Safeway, but I never used it because I only had one child and zero other jobs and once she was in preschool grocery shopping seemed like a task I could accomplish on my own. By the time our second child entered the family we’d moved here, to suburban Houston, and apparently grocery delivery is not a thing here in the suburbs.

I need an explanation. I mean, have you been to Suburbia? The land of the over-scheduled, over-stretched, over-committed people? And these people apparently shop for their own food and cook their own balanced, delicious meals, even while shuttling 2.5 kids to this activity and that. Even while looking fabulous and not dealing with adult acne. Even while starting their at-home businesses and hosting parties and volunteering and smiling — SMILING — all the while.

Who are these people? And who let ME live among them?

A slacker to the core, I am the one who sits in my car in the parking lot of my grocery store and kinda sorta puts together a list while listening to the Pearl Jam channel on Sirius XM. OH MY GOD if I didn’t do at least that I would just wander around the store for hours wondering what we should have for dinner. As it is, I never know what we are having for dinner on grocery store day. Shouldn’t that be the day I have it figured out? (Honestly, it’ll probably be tacos.)

I am not one of the over-committed. I’m a slacker, dammit; I don’t have it in me to commit much less do more of it than necessary. So with all the not-committing I do, why can I not handle making a grocery list and planning meals?

Honestly I just don’t like it. I’m an artsy fartsy type who’d rather be spending time doing something I enjoy, like complaining on the internet or googling “adult acne”.

Or pinning recipes on Pinterest. Now that I can do. Why isn’t there a thing where I can pin a recipe and then somebody buys the ingredients for me? I can totally follow directions on a recipe. I’ve done that literally dozens of times.

DUDE. You have to totally get on that business idea. Obviously I’m not going to do it; I mean, if I can’t make a grocery list, how can be expected to make a business plan?

Also it’s possible I am easily distracted. Which reminds me: I’m pretty sure I forgot about a load of laundry in the dryer.

And I’ll get to that after I’m done pinning stuff I’m not going to make on Pinterest. Then I will definitely make that grocery list.

5 thoughts on “Grocery Shopping Tips. But Not Really.”

  1. I hate meal planning and making the grocery list. But I have to do it, or there will be no meals. And I’m terrible at putting stuff together on the fly.

  2. I get tired of meal planning only because I feel like we eat the same thing a lot. But I actually enjoy cooking, except on Fridays. I’m off on Fridays.

    Grocery shopping is better than mopping. I just have to look at it that way… LOL.

    1. Hahaha – it is better than mopping! We eat the same thing a lot, too, but that’s partly because I don’t plan very well. I try to keep lots of fresh fruit and veggies on hand. Well at least carrots and apples. Basically I feed my family like I would a horse. A cartoon horse.

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