My running partner is going to disown me for writing this post.
A few days ago, I fell during a long run. I finished the run a little bloody and with a little less skin, but I was fine. I’m still healing and a bit limpy thanks to the placement of the scrape on my knee, but I had to run three miles this morning. And I just didn’t want to. I really didn’t want to have to go to the gym and run on the treadmill, but the forecast said there was like a 79% chance of rain so that’s not really ideal running weather if I have a choice.
I went about my morning getting the girls ready for school, trying to figure out what to wear to run that wouldn’t bother my knee but would cover my not-prepped-for-public legs and it’s like ten minutes till we needed to walk to the bus stop and I was still sans pants. So I just wore something to get me to the bus stop and to preschool, bemoaning the fact that it would be easier to find something to wear if I was running in the neighborhood since no one would see me.
We get to the bus stop – umbrella in hand – and not even a sprinkle. My preschooler and I walk backed home, grabbed her things, and drove to her school. Still no rain.
As soon as I returned home I checked the radar to find that I likely had at least 45 minutes until it would rain. Perfect since I only needed to run 3 miles. So I found some shorts and my Garmin, laced up my running shoes and went. I didn’t even bring my music since there was a chance I was going to get rained on. So it was just me and my thoughts.
And my thoughts were, “Ugh-this-sucks-I-don’t-want-to-do-this.”
But I had to run. I’ve signed up for not one, but TWO half marathons. I can’t stop my training. I have committed to these things and PAID THE ENTRY FEES.
And then my thoughts were, “DAMMIT. This is a good lesson in goal setting and perseverance. I am so annoying.”
So yeah, I’m thankful for running today. Thankful that I signed up for these stupid half-marathons. Thankful to have these long term goals to keep me focused. UGH. I’m sorry, Melanie. I’m trying not to be positive about running. It just happens sometimes.
As someone whose life for the last eight and a half years has been home-and-child based, I’m a bit out of practice when it comes to long term goals. Raising small children is much more about the short term goals; we really have to pack a lot into those early years. Sleeping through the night, eating the right amount, rolling over, crawling, first steps, first words – and that’s just in the first year of a child’s life. And though those things are little, they are time consuming and don’t leave much time for mom. So making goals for myself, much less goals for the long term, still feels a little unnatural.
But dammit. Running forced me to do that. Now here I am, just over a month out from my first half marathon. Reluctantly learning lessons. Feeling thankful that I took a chance and committed to something so very outside my comfort zone even though I had no idea if I could do it or not.
And annoying myself more often than not.