Friends

This is day 23 of my #30DaysofThanks series. It feels like a good day to be thankful for friends.

I haven’t always had friends. Moving often made that difficult. And then, of course, when you are a kid and you move somewhere new and everybody is already friends it’s awkward. Actually it’s pretty awkward as an adult, too.

I did not remain close to my high school friends, save for a couple. Looking back at those days I realize that I was kind of an outsider with my high school friends anyway. That may have been self-imposed or the result of moving to a small town where many of my peers had known each other since kindergarten or a side-effect of the cancer thing. Who knows.

I had great friends in college who I still consider to be dear friends of mine, but we live so far apart and rarely see one another so it’s a different kind of friendship than we had then. Post college, I moved a lot and it seems like every time I started to become better friends with someone it was time to move again. Which just really doesn’t work well for building relationships.

But now I have actual friends. That I see often. And it’s pretty weird after a lifetime of not really having that. I’m probably not a very good friend because I don’t have a lot of practice, but I like to think I try. Hopefully I’ll get better with practice.

This morning I ran with a friend of mine. I had a terrible run; I was supposed to run 12 miles and I just couldn’t. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t move my legs. I just couldn’t. But my friend stuck it out with me even when I had to walk. She was fine — she could have kept running without me. But she didn’t.

And so today I am thankful for friends. And hopeful that my new friends — and my old ones — don’t mind too much that I’m bad at friendship.