I try and have tried for years to be thankful for what I have in life, as I know even in my hard times, there were folks having harder times. Never was this more difficult for me than when I had a day job that required me to be at a desk all day.
In case you don’t know my history, I am a cancer survivor. So what I am saying here is that it was harder for me to be positive and thankful for things in my life when I had a DESK JOB than when I had CANCER.
If that sounds unnecessarily dramatic to you, then bless you: for you have all your creative and professional needs met and that is awesome for you. But for some? A desk is like a jail cell. I was one of those folks.
Today I am thankful that I have a creative outlet.
When I had a desk job, it was out of financial necessity. This was a desk job that involved spreadsheets and invoices and signature approvals. Ugh. When I was able to work in theatre alongside my day job, it was a bit easier to get through my day, knowing I had the show to work on. But this meant I basically had two jobs. So when I say easier, I mean “easier”.
Eventually I was able to transition into a day job that was more creative in nature, and THAT gave me breath. It was like putting on jeans in the right size after wearing a size too small for years. But as my life changed, my jobs changed, and I found myself back in a less creative position with very little flexibility. It wasn’t a terrible job, but it wasn’t the right fit. Once I had my first child and decided to stay home with her, I thought I had solved the problem.
But no. Being a stay at home mom isn’t a particularly creative field if you aren’t crafty or cook-y. And I don’t craft or cook.
So again I found myself with that conflicted, restricted feeling, at the time not recognizing what the problem was. Fortunately (unfortunately?) my life kept me busy enough that I couldn’t spend much time considering it. It wasn’t that I was unhappy or even unfulfilled necessarily, I just knew something was missing. Some need was not being met.
Who knew starting my silly little blog would meet that need?
Now that I am writing regularly, I know that what I was lacking was a creative outlet. Everybody needs an outlet, but not everybody needs to write. I need to write. I’m thankful I finally figured that out.