#STARTExp, blessings, cancer, dysgerminoma, mom blog, Pearl Jam, surgery while pregnant

Amongst the Waves.

Remember back, the early days
When you were young and less amazed
Suddenly the channel changed 
The first time you saw blood

Cut to later, now you’re strong

You’ve bled yourself, the wounds are gone
It’s rare when there is nothing wrong
Survived and you’re amongst the fittest
Love ain’t love until you feel it
Up riding high amongst the waves
— Pearl Jam, “Amongst the Waves”

I can definitely look back on my life and see how I changed when things got serious. When you are 15 and told you have cancer, you realize pretty quickly that life is not all fun and games. But lucky for me, life went on. That experience helped give me the strength to deal with the next one and each new “less than ideal” experience built me up a little more. I’d like to think the strength and perspective I have today are helpful qualities when things get a little difficult, but that doesn’t mean I don’t get frustrated with obstacles in my life that prevent me from moving forward. 

Finally – at 38 years into this life – I have a “no excuses” clause. I’ve set some goals and have joined Jon Acuff’s START Experiment for the next three weeks or so to hold me to these goals. And so now I’m going to involve you, too (you’re welcome). 

The thing about my life is that the fact that I am even sitting here in my lovely suburban home and typing on my expensive laptop while my beautiful, healthy children sleep and my socially adept husband hangs out with his friends is really just a miracle. And I need to squeeze every drop out of this miracle I’ve been given. And if let the momentum drop and let myself get washed up on the shore again, it may just be one time too many. 

You see, I’ve been in survival mode for quite a long time. When you are in survival mode you don’t really get to work on other aspects of your life. But I am done with that. I have survived. I have momentum right now and I’m not OK letting it drop. I believe I have the strength to stay up here, riding high amongst the waves. And I believe now is the time to do it. What are my goals, you ask? Not crazy things, actually, but things that are hard to be consistent with when interruptions are the rule rather than the exception in my life. Here they are:

  • I must work out three times a week.

  • I must post to my blog twice a week. 

Wow, right? What unrealistic goals, huh? OK – for me, this is not easy to maintain for a period of 24 days (which is the length of the START Experiment). This may seem small for some folks, but for me right now this is a big deal. So if you don’t see me posting, call me out. Email me. Tweet me. Text me. Send smoke signals. Whatever. Just help keep me honest, OK?

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