I was at my eye doctor for a follow up visit. Because of my irritated/ing eyes I am changing contacts. We haven’t yet settled on a new brand so I needed to schedule another appointment. I reached into my bag to get my phone so I could put the new appointment on my calendar and…
It. Wasn’t. There.
This kind of thing doesn’t happen to me. I’m responsible and mindful and very OCD about making sure I have everything with me all the time. Where could it be?
I was trying to play it totally cool so the young lady making my appointment didn’t think I was a total freak. Because I’m not. It’s just a phone, right?
I’ll just call my husband real quick to see if I left it at home. DAMMIT. I can’t. I don’t have my phone. And I don’t want to seem like a freak. So I can’t ask to use their phone. Dammit.
I had to go to the chiropractor next, which happens to be right next door. So, I thought, “No problem – I’ll just get my adjustment and go home. Dr. Amy is really fast. I can solve this mystery soon.” However… I was early. Dr. Amy wasn’t there yet. So I had to sit and wait for her. WITH NO PHONE.
Maybe I can look at a magazine or count the floor tiles or um, OH MY GOD HOW DID PEOPLE EVER WAIT FOR ANYTHING EVER BEFORE THEY HAD IPHONES.
Did I leave it in the exam room at the eye doctor? Maybe my car? Did I have it with me when I left my house?
I tried some awkward small talk with the receptionist. Four very long minutes later, my chiropractor walked in. I got my adjustment and never mentioned my missing phone, because, hey – I’m sure it’s at home, right? So breezy.
I was keeping a totally normal pace as I walked out of the office to get to my car to go home and CHECK ON MY PHONE. I was in no rush. Breezy. Totally. I just happened to notice it was 2:22, which meant I left home roughly 77 minutes ago. I mean, if you’re counting. But I wasn’t. Because I was breezy.
No stupid cars were taking their sweet time as I tried to pull out of the parking lot to make the 2.5 mile drive home. Not even like 30 of them. I put on some tunes to take my mind off the situation. Not that there was a situation. You know. Whatever.
I stopped and got the mail. I took my time and backed into the garage (because that’s safer). I casually got out of my car and strolled inside to the kitchen. My phone was totally plugged into the charger just waiting for me.
Just like I knew it was.
No, YOU have a problem.