This is the first time I’ve had a guest post on my blog. I really felt this subject needed more air time, but I was unable to add anything helpful to the conversation. That’s where my awesome friend, Shannon Lewis, comes in.
I feel very strongly about making time for myself. I am a better wife, mother, and friend when I get “me time.” In a day and age where we are expected to do it all, it’s very difficult to not fall into the trap of taking on too many things. I do not feel selfish by making time for “me;” I see it as an absolute necessity.
I am, by no means, perfect at juggling all of life’s duties and activities, but I do the best I can with things I’ve learned along the way. These are things that I think are important to think about when making the decision to create “me” time.
Find Your Passion
This is a must; everyone has one or can have one. For me, having a passion or two drives my motivation to make time for myself, which always includes a passion. I think that mothers feel like they have to sacrifice themselves and their dreams to be a mother or wife. I could not disagree more.
My passion, which happens to be running and fitness, is one of the things that makes me “me.” I would go crazy without it, and no one would want to be around me.
Make Your Passion a Priority in Your Life
Make time for it. Period. Running and working out are my passions, and I schedule most of my daily activities around it. I am not one of the master time-managers, so along the way, I have had to let some things go. As much as I would love to have an immaculate house or volunteer for anything and everything, I know I can’t realistically do it all.
For me, it’s giving up some little things in order to make other things possible. That means saying “no” from time to time. Ouch.
Don’t Be Afraid to Delegate or Ask for Help
Again, we as women (especially) think we have to be “super.” The concept of not being able to do EVERYTHING is hard for us. We really don’t have to do it all, nor should we have to. I am married to an amazing man who is always willing to help out with the children or household responsibilities.
I live in a fantastic neighborhood with amazing friends, too. Even though we do have family relatively close by, it’s not always feasible to lean on them for every need. I frequently ask for favors, because I believe the saying, “It takes a village…,” is true. And, in turn, I help out my friends and neighbors when they need me. It could be that we lean on each other when we have to run an errand that is not kid-friendly, or it could be that we need to get some work done at home, and we don’t want to sit our child in front of the TV for an extended period of time.
Trading “play dates” could be a great way to get some much-needed time to work or do whatever “me” time is to you.
This might sound easy, but it’s probably one of the areas we tend to struggle with the most. We put everyone ahead of ourselves, but sometimes we take it to the extreme, at our own expense.
I wanted to close with this one, not because this is where it ranks, but because it stresses the “why” for finding that coveted “me” time. I’m not groundbreaking here by saying that we have to love ourselves before others can love us, but it’s worth repeating. Our children, especially, look at everything we do and listen to every word we say. We probably don’t realize the impact of all the little things on their little minds/psyches.
I think it’s very important for children to know that we love ourselves, and because of that, we do things that bring us joy – and that’s not being selfish. The world does not revolve around them, and it’s an invaluable lesson for them to learn. Seeing the people they love taking time to do what they are passionate about teaches them that just because we are “grown ups” doesn’t mean we stop being “us.”
Do you have a passion in your life, like Shannon does, that helps you with your “me” time? Or do you have tips for building that ever necessary support system/village? I’d love to keep this conversation going in the comments – share your tips!