I Curse You, Elf.

Oh, Cursing and Swear Words, we are sticking with the Elf on the Shelf thing this year. Reflecting what is in our heart of hearts, my husband and I completely forgot about him that very first night just a few short days ago. And my six year old woke us up — in tears — because he was still in the same spot.

Bastard. (The Elf, not my daughter, of course. She’s totally legit.)

So as you can see it’s another damn fine mess we’ve gotten ourselves into again this year. But it’s for the children. OH, THE CHILDREN! Whatever would they do without an elf in the house? How did children ever celebrate Christmas before they were visited by an ELF. Doll. An elf DOLL. Curses.

But sometimes we accidentally put him in funny places.

My title for this pic: “My Elf with a Large Cock”

One morning right before he left for work, my husband hastily placed the Elf on a shelf with a big rooster we brought back from Costa Rica some years ago (which we later saw in Pier 1, go figure) because again we forgot. It was so funny to me that I couldn’t believe he hadn’t been planning that placement for a while. And yes, that is Joey Kramer’s autograph on the “Get A Grip” CD, thanks for asking.

Anyhoo, the inappropriate canoodling of Edward the Elf and the large, um, rooster made me think of the Inappropriate Elf contest that I entered last year.

So Imma enter it again. Sure I’m not creative like the other folks, but I feel if I try too hard it would be insincere as I really, really dislike this elf and too much effort might send the wrong idea (to the… Elf?).

But if it makes you laugh, too, you should vote. But to be clear the vote is for ME and/or my husband’s accidental cleverness, not the stupid Elf. Like I said, I don’t want him to get the wrong idea.

(P.S. The pic is #92)

Comments

  1. This is hilarious! Just voted for you.

  2. Which means we are laughing AT you instead of WITH you?