The Invention of Velcro.

This morning my daughter was criss-crossing the velcro straps on her shoes and it made me giggle because I used to to that. I remembered getting my first pair of velcro shoes when I was in like third grade — and then I realized: That’s when velcro was invented.

These are NOT my shoes from 1983, but they are darn close.
(You can even buy them here! If you buy them for me, I will wear them.
Yes, that is a dare.)

OK. To be clear, that’s not actually when velcro was invented. (I will save you the time you were about to use fact checking me by providing you with this link.) But as you will note when you check my source, the early to mid-80s are exactly when everybody started putting velcro on shoes. Which corresponds with my third grade claim. [Will you quit fact checking me now? I’m not running for office for crying out loud. Why are you making me so defensive? Stop it already.]

So the whole point of the story is that I am super old. Punctuating that point, also this morning we were singing “We Built This City” by Jefferson Starship (because it’s on the soundtrack for The Muppets, not because I am some weird obsessed Jefferson Starship fan) and I tell my daughter “This song came out when I was a kid” to which she responds, “I didn’t know it was THAT old.”

I rest my case.