Style Points: Confounded by Belts.

Belts are a thing now, right? They define the waist, they pull an outfit together, “Just cinch it and belt it” as the Gap girls used to say on SNL, right?

Yet I have no idea what to do with belts. I am, indeed, confounded by them.

I can see the difference they make. I understand that things look better with them than without them. However, when I try to shop for some nice little belts to have on hand to give me creative freedom in my closet, I am completely LOST.

Not that I am only shopping for little belts — I am also looking at big belts, but I’m just kind of guessing I need to have some of both. I don’t really know. In my day, belts were for holding up your pants. Function only, you hear? For this accessory to make the jump from practical to pretty is kind of hard for me to accept.

But the proof is in the pictures. (Someone else’s pictures that you will have to visit her blog to see because I can’t just post other people’s stuff.) I discovered a great fashion blog (thanks to Pinterest). It’s called Putting Me Together and the girl who does it is super cute and she shows different ways of wearing the same things and how accessories (like BELTS!) can change an outfit. So I feel like there is hope for me and this belt thing thanks to people who know what they are doing, like Audrey.

Basically my belt shopping to this point has consisted of stopping by the belts in Target when I am there to buy other things. It’s possible this is a bad plan. But this is what I bought last time:

Sure it looks cute in the picture – they all do – but that’s not how they look in the store. They are all like hanging there together, looking confusing and questionable and not fitting right when I try them on because they have that stupid plastic thing on the buckle. And so I buy this wide belt and then two days later I am talking about belts with people (because I have issues) and someone says that some people should wear wide belts and some people should wear skinny belts and I’m all like “HOLY CRAP – there are Belt Rules?!?”

But nobody knew the real Belt Rules or where to find them. So the speculation left me, once again, confounded.

I probably need a big black belt. Or a skinny metallic one. Or both. You see, that sounds right, but I don’t know why. Maybe I need something fun? I don’t know. I think glitter and studs seem inappropriate, though. (I think there is a “That’s what she said,” joke in there somewhere. And again. Crikey!)

But even if I had all of these belts, I still wouldn’t know what to do with them. I have exactly one shirt and one dress that I have successfully tried one belt with. It is none of these belts. And no, I don’t have pictures to prove it.

Are you a successful belter? (And I mean the aforementioned accessory, not the style of singing. Because I am a much more successful “belter” when it comes to singing than when it comes to fashion. Singing in public stresses me out WAY less than trying to put together a cute, flattering, fashion forward outfit.)

If you know what you are doing with your belt, or you know someone who knows what they are doing, or hell – even if you know someone who knows someone – please share?

Because if someone doesn’t help me with this belt thing soon, by the time I get the hang of it they won’t be “in”anymore. And then I’ll have to master some other thing. Do you want me bugging you about that, too?

(No, this isn’t a sponsored post. I just like to give free advertising to people. Apparently.)